I see you little baby.
I see you trying so hard to be a good girl, the best girl, a perfect girl.
I see your lonely heart, your deep desire to be truly seen and understood.
You queer baby forcing intimacy with best fiends who don't feel as deeply in your relationship as you do.
Conversations center around boys you don't care about but are pretending to. Foreign creatures who don't see you and don't care to.
Boys don't know your brilliance. It scares their closed hearts, you feel too much for teens that feel too much but keep it bottled up inside.
You're so brave the wear your heart is exposed. The way you want so hungrily.
Later you'll learn to cover that up, when you realize it remains too much for most.
But it will be everything to some, hold them close because they are here for you, the real you--not the dulled out version you've created to make everyone else comfortable.
One day you'll want to feel and shine as brightly as you do now.
I see you with your big boobs and your big hair. Taking up space and feeling wrong in all that bigness.
Spread out sweet girl.
Wear the low cut shirt and the short skirt, take your hair out of the minimizing bun and feel the sea breeze blow through every strand.
Smile at how it shines golden in the sun.
Know that you don't have to be better than other people to be worthy of everything you want. You are enough exactly as you are.
I know nobody looks like you--no women in your life have the life you want.
One day you will find mamas, aunties, sisters that inspire you.
Some will look like you, others will have your same spirit and others will be so different that they teach you that difference is not wrong.
They will teach you how to be unapologetically bold, that being bad feels so good and that not saying everything on their heart doesn't mean they don't feel it.
One day you will know love. Complicated, overwhelming unbelievable love. It will be different than the movies. But it will be precious and new and revolution.
I know you feel like you don't matter, nobody understands you or cares about you.
The world is a much more confusing and sad place than your parents told you it'd be.
No amount of A's you get or friends you have will change that.
Just know that the world is also a beautiful and joyful place and it needs your fire.
I need your fire.
Be strong girl, you have everything you need inside of you. Follow your light.
