I was reminded yesterday by my favorite astrologer Jaliessa Sipress that we are all on this spinning rock together waiting to die. Which is part "YIKES, too far!" and also "YES, PERSPECTIVE." I'm comforted by the cycles of nature. The way that Spring always comes no matter what. That the equinox gives us exactly the same amount of sunlight and darkness no matter where or what you are on this planet. What a metaphor in this very uncertain time. A metaphor for balance, for waiting, for the consistency of nature. It feels like everything is out of control and then I walk outside of my house with my little dog in tow and it is like every walk I've had before. I hear birds, I see the newest neighborhood blooms, the wild strawberries are starting to pop up starting with little white flowers and everything is beautiful.
And I get it--right now you may be thinking "Bre has really lost it on this existential journey!" Honestly, I have lost "it." I've lost the go-go-go. I've lost the need for productivity (kinda--I'm still an American).
These past 8 months I have been living very similar to how a lot of people are living right now. Quietly at home, trying to stay busy, contemplating life, having long conversations with people I love on FaceTime. This pandemic has not really changed my day to day very much. I'm struck by the reality that last March I dreamed of a moment just like this one: quietly writing on my laptop in my home office, listening to Frozen 2 on the iPod doc (yes you read that right) that I got for Christmas from my parents back in 2009. What seemed impossible to me then is here now, maybe even a little mundane. Getting here has not been easy. Honestly, the only reason I can write this blog without guilt on a Friday afternoon is because we are in a Pandemic, I'm not allowed to leave the house, can't apply for "more sensible" jobs and Mary is busy working on her own thing.
Over the past week I have been inspecting my Begonia (lovingly repotted and gifted to me from my grandmother) waiting for it's little buds to pop into an adorable little bloom. And today they are opening up so sweetly.
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| 3.12 |
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| 3.20 |
I'm not sure where I'm going with all of this--just know that I'm here contemplating life with you if you are doing the same. I'm sitting in deep gratitude for all that I have and humbly making this little offering to you. I hope you'll rest today, this weekend, for the rest of this uncertain time and beyond. I hope you'll journal about Spring and cycles and the unknown. I hope you'll put on music and close your eyes and just listen, don't you remember doing that as a young person? We never do that anymore. I'm sending you so much love, joy and care.
What I'm Reading
The Highly Sensitive Person in Love by Elaine N. Aron, Ph. D.
How to Do Nothing by Jenny Odell
Marlee Grace's Newsletter
Alex Wolf's Newsletter
What I'm Listening To
H.E.R. on repeat
Frozen 2 Soundtrack on repeat
Lauren Ash Intuition Meditation on Insight Timer
My Modern/Jazz Dance playlist (Frank Ocean, Sade, Selena Gomez, Khalid, SZA & more)
What I'm Watching
Frozen 2 (Disney+)
The Bachelorette Season 13 (Tubi)
Hearts Beat Loud (Hulu)
Virgin River (Netflix)
Gilmore Girls (Netflix)
What I'm Doing
Meditating
Napping
Petting my dog
FaceTiming with adults and babies and animals
Dancing
Watering my plants
