Top 5 Reason's Having a Childhood BFF as an Adult is the B.

Today is my oldest BFFs birthday, this post is in honor of her and all of our memories together.

HBD Erika San!

5. They were there for your "firsts." 

First kiss, first period, first relationship, first heartbreak. These things are monumental and chances are your BFF was there for a lot if not all of them. Not only can they recall that these things happened but they probably know the sordid and inevitably embarrassing details. Hell, they were probably the person you called, texted, or if you're a teen now, snapped seconds after it happened.

4. They know your childhood crushes and frenemies by first AND last name

What is it about grade school and referring to everybody by their first and last names, or even worse, first name, last initial? Regardless, your childhood BFF can easily recall the FULL names of the people your heart exploded for and your fists clenched for. As your #2 they were right there passing the "do you like me too?" note on one side and giving some serious side eye on the other side because--solidarity sister!

3. They know your family REALLY well

I don't know about you but I LOVED sleepovers. I particularly loved sleepovers at my house. What's not to love, your friend comes over and doesn't leave for a whole day??? Luckily I have achieved my ultimate dream of a 24/7 sleepover with my wife. But before there was Mary and Fergus there was Erika with a Roxy overnight bag full of PJs and toiletries ready to eat Boba and Costco pizza to our hearts content while watching A Walk to Remember. When you basically live part-time at someone else's house you get to know their family and their lives. She knew that we always had Diet Sprite in the fridge for a quick spritzer and that my mom would come annoy us a million times. She knew that she's be awaken by the sound of my birds screeching at 7am and my dad mowing the lawn on Sunday morning in a wicker sun hat. And I knew that I could always count on her mom to take us to Ala Moana and leave us alone (she's so lucky).

2. You don't have to explain

It's nice to know that you don't have to say more than "remember that time..." to be met with "OMG...YES!" When me and my BFF get together we go through about 4 different languages and talk about all the hilarious not-quite-adventures we had as teens. This applies to any present day issues too. If something crazy happens with your family there's no need to go into the background of what led up to it all, they know the story and why it's so important.

1. They've seen your growth

It is amazing how much growth my BFF and I have made throughout our 20+ years of friendship. We started out as shy over-achieving kids  (note the below photo of elementary school Student Council) and have grown into pretty fierce and probably still over-achieving women. We've seen our values change and reform, our careers develop and our personalities blossom. Even your parents can't appreciate the way you've grown like a peer can and that's what's great about BFFs. They can look at you & vice versa in this really awe-inspired way. Imagine how much you'll get to witness and be a part of in a lifetime of friendship!

 

from '96 to 2017 <3

Top 5 Reason Having A Peanut Allergy is the Worst

"You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and then you have the facts of life."

If you are reading this blog then you probably know me and if you know me you know that I have a peanut allergy. It is one of my greatest sorrows, like Anne of Green Gables and her red hair. It isn't something I can wish away and unfortunately it's not just a dislike I can grow fond of, instead it is a life-threatening ailment that affects almost everything I do. Sometimes I meet other people with peanut allergies who aren't quite as cautious as me and to them I say, "I used to be like you...until that night I was in anaphylaxis but didn't now it and probably could have awoken in the night unable to breath because my throat was starting to close up."

So in an attempt to conquer that which plagues me I will give you a humorous list of the top 5 reasons (out of 100s of reasons) that being a person allergic to peanuts is the absolute worst.

#5 You have to be careful when you play on the jungle gym. 

As a tot in the 90's I didn't have the luxury of living in an allergy conscious world. PBJ was still a staple in every kids lunch box and teachers didn't really care that I quivered in fear next to Jennifer in the cafeteria. My allergy is particularly annoying because even if peanut essence touches me I instantly develop hives. Needless to say I came home many I day with a few random ones on my hands from the jungle gym because stupid non-allergic kids didn't wash their hands after eating their poisonous lunch.

#4 Your dog can never have a birthday cake

I know this doesn't seem like a big deal but Fergus NEEDS every luxury life can afford her and knowing that I am the reason she can never taste the sweetness of a peanut butter dog cake is sheer agony. You might be thinking, "big deal you're not eating it, she could still have the cake." But you would be WRONG. Fergus licks everything and lays everywhere with her body, that she licks, her peanut butter cake essence would be all over my house and I'd just end being up a big pile of hives. Plus, I've already made an exception for her (I'm allergic to dogs) and I draw the line at multiple allergens in my home.

#3 You have to read the ingredients on EVERYTHING 

This one is really time consuming and makes you look like you're obsessed with counting calories. And just in case you're one of those people WHO DO NOT HAVE ALLERGIES but still insists on butting in and saying things like "that DEFINITELY doesn't have peanuts" or "that kind of food doesn't use peanuts" just know that I have had an allergic reaction to pretty much every type of food. Did you know that Chex Mix uses peanut flour or that some sushi sauces have peanut butter in them? Pretty much everything is "made on equipment also used to process peanuts" (but my decision to eat that is based on how hungry I am/how much I like that thing). It's also super awkward when you go to a party and are like, "hey can I dig in your trash really quick? I gotta make sure I don't die at this party."

#2 Sometimes, you're afraid to kiss your wife

My peanut allergy is also a great sorrow to my wife whose favorite candies are all peanut related. Before I moved in with her she ate a PBJ for lunch EVERY DAY. She has had to make some serious sacrifices! Of course she does still eat things with peanuts on occasion, out of the house and many hours away from when she will be seeing me. And on those rare occasions where she mentions before our "hello" kiss that she had a bite sized snickers at 9am, I pause and my life flashes before my eyes. What if THIS is the one time I wasn't careful enough??? Has it been long enough??? How many other things has she eaten since then??? Did she brush her teeth??? All of this just to kiss! I've read one too many teen magazine stories of girls who had a quick make-out & DROPPED DEAD because the person they were making out with had just eaten a PayDay.

#1 Traveling is sheer TORTURE

I am of a generation that thinks traveling around the globe is the only way to live life. And if not around the globe then at least around your own country. The things is, if I don't speak the language how would I know if what I'm about to eat will kill me?? When I travel locally I try to go to chains that I know don't use peanuts but that's not the point of traveling! The point is to eat new food and have new experiences. But if you're too scared to take a bite of food because you don't know that it won't kill you, plus you're away form home, plus you're hypoglycemic and have to eat every two hours, being out of your comfort zone isn't just a fun exercise it's a miserable experience.

So there you have it folks!

The next time you're swinging from a jungle gym and making out in some far off place I hope you'll do it real good just for me (not in a weird way). 

I'll be cozy at home watching Netflix in my peanut-free zone eating some baby carrots and cottage cheese.

3 Human Self-Care Lessons from an #OverIt Maltipoo

Fergus is a 7 pound Maltipoo with a frail constitution and many peculiarities. 

She is a naughty princess-queen who prefers to nap on multiple soft textiles piled as high as possible (ie: fluffy pillow on top of fluffy blanket on top of velvet couch). She is our one and only baby and rules our lives with an adorable fluffy iron fist.

Here are just 3 examples of her being #OverIt with some human lesson we can take from them.

1. When she refused to walk for charity. 

Last Spring my non-profit did a fundraiser walk-a-thon and I used Fergus' adorable picture to aid in getting donations. She was happy to oblige her photo but when it came to the actual walking she had about 30 minutes in her before she completely refused to move one more step. Unluckily for us, at that particular moment we were on the side of a very steep hill & tired from walking too. But we carried her 7 pounds of fluff all the way to the end of the line, that damn queen.

Human Lesson: When you've given so much of yourself to something or someone else that you just have nothing else to give. In those instances you might not be able to move forward if you don't ask for a little help (from TWO mommies if you're lucky).

2. When she went to the dog park and refused to play with any dogs.

Notice  missed-connection dog friend in the distance.

Dog parks in San Francisco are not fenced. They are also right next to busy streets. Example: Duboce Park is directly next to Muni train tracks. Is that the best place to put dogs running off leash? Fergus is a very fast runner and has horrible recall (when you call your dog and they actually come to you) because she's a strong willed lady that will not be summoned for. All of this means that she can't freely play with dogs off leash unless she's at a fenced in dog park. Since her mommies are lazy we found the closest possible dog park, a little patch of gravel in the Castro. As we approached the park she seemed giddy with excitement. We went in and the welcome wagon of dogs came rushing towards her. She froze up immediately and started running as far away as possible. This was followed by 20 minutes of me and Mary trying to coax her to engage with the few other scragglers away from the group before we realized she was throwing up and drooling from sheer terror and just took her home.

Human Equivalent: When you have plans that seem super fun and you get all geared up to go to that party or event and then you walk in and INSTANTLY regret it. Your stomach goes all queasy and you just want to lock yourself in the bathroom or run back home. Too many times I've found myself in this situation and stayed. But I encourage people to take a note from Fergus (not the drooling part) and don't fake it. If you're not into it, go find a corner to people (or dog) watch or better yet, just leave. Unlike Fergus, you can drive or pay for an Uber home.

3. When she glares, scoffs and turns her back to us because we're being too loud and/or annoying.

Fergus is the QUEEN of side-eye. When she's displeased with something she let's you know. If she's on her pile of cozy textiles and we laugh too hard or go on too loud of a rant about the Kardashians her eyes fly open and then minimize to little glaring slits. Sometimes if it's really bad she'll do the first part and then adjust her position on said pile of textiles so that her butt is to us and her head is a safe distance away from our foolishness.

Human Equivalent: When your roommate, partner, spouse, office-mate, sister, brother, mother father, is being the absolute worst most annoying person and you just need your SPACE. Ear buds are the human equivalent to the textile pile. Although not quite as cozy, they are much more effective in drowning out unwanted foolishness.

If only we could live a life of luxury like Fergus, minus the risk of being blown away by wind gusts and fear of plastic bags.

*Photos by the best co-mommy a girl could ask for Mary