"You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and then you have the facts of life."
If you are reading this blog then you probably know me and if you know me you know that I have a peanut allergy. It is one of my greatest sorrows, like Anne of Green Gables and her red hair. It isn't something I can wish away and unfortunately it's not just a dislike I can grow fond of, instead it is a life-threatening ailment that affects almost everything I do. Sometimes I meet other people with peanut allergies who aren't quite as cautious as me and to them I say, "I used to be like you...until that night I was in anaphylaxis but didn't now it and probably could have awoken in the night unable to breath because my throat was starting to close up."So in an attempt to conquer that which plagues me I will give you a humorous list of the top 5 reasons (out of 100s of reasons) that being a person allergic to peanuts is the absolute worst.
#5 You have to be careful when you play on the jungle gym.
As a tot in the 90's I didn't have the luxury of living in an allergy conscious world. PBJ was still a staple in every kids lunch box and teachers didn't really care that I quivered in fear next to Jennifer in the cafeteria. My allergy is particularly annoying because even if peanut essence touches me I instantly develop hives. Needless to say I came home many I day with a few random ones on my hands from the jungle gym because stupid non-allergic kids didn't wash their hands after eating their poisonous lunch.#4 Your dog can never have a birthday cake
I know this doesn't seem like a big deal but Fergus NEEDS every luxury life can afford her and knowing that I am the reason she can never taste the sweetness of a peanut butter dog cake is sheer agony. You might be thinking, "big deal you're not eating it, she could still have the cake." But you would be WRONG. Fergus licks everything and lays everywhere with her body, that she licks, her peanut butter cake essence would be all over my house and I'd just end being up a big pile of hives. Plus, I've already made an exception for her (I'm allergic to dogs) and I draw the line at multiple allergens in my home.#3 You have to read the ingredients on EVERYTHING
This one is really time consuming and makes you look like you're obsessed with counting calories. And just in case you're one of those people WHO DO NOT HAVE ALLERGIES but still insists on butting in and saying things like "that DEFINITELY doesn't have peanuts" or "that kind of food doesn't use peanuts" just know that I have had an allergic reaction to pretty much every type of food. Did you know that Chex Mix uses peanut flour or that some sushi sauces have peanut butter in them? Pretty much everything is "made on equipment also used to process peanuts" (but my decision to eat that is based on how hungry I am/how much I like that thing). It's also super awkward when you go to a party and are like, "hey can I dig in your trash really quick? I gotta make sure I don't die at this party."#2 Sometimes, you're afraid to kiss your wife
My peanut allergy is also a great sorrow to my wife whose favorite candies are all peanut related. Before I moved in with her she ate a PBJ for lunch EVERY DAY. She has had to make some serious sacrifices! Of course she does still eat things with peanuts on occasion, out of the house and many hours away from when she will be seeing me. And on those rare occasions where she mentions before our "hello" kiss that she had a bite sized snickers at 9am, I pause and my life flashes before my eyes. What if THIS is the one time I wasn't careful enough??? Has it been long enough??? How many other things has she eaten since then??? Did she brush her teeth??? All of this just to kiss! I've read one too many teen magazine stories of girls who had a quick make-out & DROPPED DEAD because the person they were making out with had just eaten a PayDay.#1 Traveling is sheer TORTURE
I am of a generation that thinks traveling around the globe is the only way to live life. And if not around the globe then at least around your own country. The things is, if I don't speak the language how would I know if what I'm about to eat will kill me?? When I travel locally I try to go to chains that I know don't use peanuts but that's not the point of traveling! The point is to eat new food and have new experiences. But if you're too scared to take a bite of food because you don't know that it won't kill you, plus you're away form home, plus you're hypoglycemic and have to eat every two hours, being out of your comfort zone isn't just a fun exercise it's a miserable experience.So there you have it folks!
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